ramblings of a raconteuse

I ended my last post “Project Helenna - Part One” by saying that “I am now declaring my remainder of 2012 as the year of “Project Helenna.”  

If you’re wondering why, feel free to go back and read my previous post to get caught up.  For those of you looking for details on just how I’m going to get down to business, here is what I mean…

I am turning my focus back to the craft of acting and to a “holistically healthy Helenna: mentally, physically, and spiritually, to create the best actor I can be and my best self.”

How am I going to do this?

Since I have a producer type brain, I’ve laid everything out for myself as if it is a project I’m about to produce.  

Now, first off, in addition to producing content for the web I also have spent many years on the business of acting which is extremely important for any actor looking to break into the business.  I’ve educated myself in a very comprehensive way taking a ton of workshops and classes and seminars etc… I’ve studied with many of the leading minds in this field and have saturated myself with information.  

Secondly, as an actor, I’ve also filled myself with training in Vancouver as well as LA and again, I’m saturated. 

At this point, I’m bursting and prepared and I believe in my skill set.  I’m ready.  Do I still have a ton to learn?  Of course.  We never stop growing and changing.  But right now, at this stage of my development as an actor, I feel ready to really apply the training I’ve had not in a class but on set as much as possible. 

I’m taking everything I have learned and am creating a laser beam focus.  A lot of the time the best actions are the types that you would take if you were already “there” so that you are actually ready instead of preparing to be ready.  ”Project Helenna” for me means going about my craft and career as if I am already a series regular.  I thought it easiest if I laid out my guide of what I’ll be focused on to explain exactly what this means for me. 

1) Optimum Health and Fitness

I’ve often said that I want to be in the best physical condition possible because not only do I want to look fantastic, (after all this is Hollywood), but I want to be able to play roles where I’m kicking butt Lara Croft/Sucker Punch styles.  (If there is a comedic element thrown in there, all the better!) While I’m in relatively good shape, my goal is to get to the point where I could be called tomorrow to do training with wire work, or massive guns, or in some type of martial art, and rock it out because I’m in such a great state of fitness.  

I’ve started training with a friend of mine who has developed a great program for me in the gym in my building.  It’s taken what I was already doing for my workouts and refined it so that I feel like I’m properly focused.  This is a definite challenge to me, but one I am ready for. So far I’ve completed a week of the new program and I feel great!

2) Sharpen My Craft

I recently had to prepare 25 pages of sides (aka. “script”) for 3 different characters for a meeting I had.  This was an incredibly fun task, but also rather difficult.  One of the roles was a pretty big stretch for me and I had to do a lot of work getting myself to the place that that character lives inside of me and I only really had a day to do it.  

And heads up, tv auditions are nothing like theater where you have weeks of rehearsal.  You don’t have a ton of time to prepare and you have to be able to deliver a wholly realized character.  I ended up doing a stellar job, but it made me realize that having such a dense amount of material to prepare to the point where it’s “set ready” takes a focus on my craft that needs to be the norm.  

I realized that I need to make a list of all of the possible types of characters I can play and start researching them now as opposed to when I get the material.  That way, as soon as I see the type of character, I can access the information I’ve banked so that I have a solid starting off point and I’m not forced to begin with the base line of research. (ie)  a cop’s mindset vs a lawyer’s etc…)

Now this being said, in the past I haven’t really needed to do massive amounts of research for an audition because that character’s thoughts and words and feelings were like second nature to me.  But in this past case, I really needed to school myself.  The character was foreign to me and I was being held to a very high standard.  I was being truly tested to see if I was ready for the next tier jump.  I passed with flying colors. 

3) Balance the Mind

I’m very grateful for Jack Plotnick.  He is one of the acting coaches I work with and is all about affirmations. Thank God for that.  

Being an actor can be crazy-making.  We deal with ups and downs on a daily if not hourly basis in a way that the rest of the world doesn’t.  Rejection is inevitable and every day we are putting our emotions and the core of ourselves on the line.  For those of you reading this who aren’t actors, the best way to describe it is that basically, we are doing job interviews a number of times a day and the reason we don’t get a job could have nothing to do with our skill set.  The reason could be that we are too fat, too thin, have brown hair and they want blonde hair, our eyes are too close together, or perhaps the producer’s girlfriend is the one already favored for the role.  There are a zillion things out of our control and yet we have to deliver the goods every single time. 

There is so much anxiety and fear that can arise from this business that you need to be grounded completely in who you are.  Someone told me once that contrary to popular belief, actors are the most sane people in Hollywood because we are constantly being faced with our own shit and forced to work through it.  This totally makes sense to me. I know that I can’t access all of the things in me as an actor if there is an emotional block in my way.  I also know that the nervous energy of a high stakes audition or job (aka. excitement without the breath), can be crippling.  I’ve know people who have intense fight or flight, myself included.  Even Pavarotti is known to have said “ok, little me, big me is taking over” before a performance to calm nerves.  

So all this being said, I’m going to continue “working through my shit” so that I can consistently be the most open vessel possible.  Whether that means as an actor letting the character really inhabit me, or as the working professional kicking butt at an audition or on set.  I’m committing to freeing my mind of the bullshit that I can so easily create for myself so that I can continue the journey to centering myself spiritually and mentally.  A good start to this for me will be finally reading all of the books on my shelf that I’ve meant to crack open for YEARS.  The first one I’m going to finish? “You Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought” by Peter McWilliams. 

4. For Now, Working Only As An Actor

I’m going to focus on working solely as an actor for the rest of the year, with passionate peers and people at the top of their game who I can learn from and grow from. I’m going to continue to stay strong with this intention and embrace saying “no” to the things that will not serve me.  I primarily mean producing new projects.  I’m constantly getting new ideas that pop into my head that I want to go forward with, but as I explained in my last post, I’m letting go of that safety net for the time being and challenging myself to not get distracted from my laser bean focus.  Saying “no” is quite possibly the hardest thing for me, but I need to always ask myself “will this get me closer to my goal?”  And if not, I have to be comfortable letting it go. 

Luckily, I have a great manager who is helping me navigate my career and a lot of fabulous seeds are being planted.  Bit by bit, my career is growing and I’m excited to keep this laser beamed focus and see what comes to fruition. 

5. Know What Works For Me

And finally, I’m going to continue with the theory of focusing on what works for me and letting go of what doesn’t.  One of those things is knowing when certain information is useful to me.  Recently there are some resources that I feel no longer serve me and have stopped using them, but right now I’m addicted to these particular blogs/podcasts and highly encourage other actors out there to check them out:

The Working Actress  by Anonymous

Inside Acting Podcast by Trevor Algatt  and AJ Meijer 

The Actors Voice by Bonnie Gillespie

Secrets of Screen Acting by Patrick Tucker/podcast by David H. Lawrence Xvii 

and for those of you who haven’t read Jenna Fischer’s blog post from a number of years ago, I absolutely suggest reading it ASAP. 

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So with no further ado, development is officially over and “Project Helenna” has been green lit ;)  Here I go…!

Xoxoxo helenna 

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tweet me at: @helslevy

browse me at: helennasantoslevy.com

email me at: contacthelenna@gmail.com

aka) I’m the resident “artsy farsty nerd” ;) 

Written for my weekly Friday blog post at: 



aka) I’m the resident “artsy farsty nerd” ;) 

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The sky is falling and we are all in it together.  At least, that’s how this week has felt. 

It’s kind of crazy how so many of the artistic people in my life have been having similar experiences lately.  For a lot of people myself included, it seems like it’s been impossible to have something really great happen without something bad happening to balance it out.

My friend Leah Cevoli, a fellow Talk Nerdy blogger, wrote a piece about how things felt like they were crumbling down for her this past week and it sparked a lot of discussion.  Kristen Nedopak, one of the #GeekGirlsCreate ladies then said

There was definitely something in the water this week and for creative types, we tend to feel the hardships pretty intensely. 

I’ve blogged before about “burn out” and the “curse of the creative,” but one of the other things that is rarely spoken about is feeling like you want to give up because the path of the artist is just too dang hard. 

Often times when someone talks about why they are having a hard time keeping in pursuit of their career it can be seen as complaining and not “staying positive,” but I’d like to put out there that sometimes you just need a good verbal pukefest to get your head back on straight.

Like I said on facebook“I think it’s important to know where you’re at and admit that everything isn’t always sunshine and roses especially for artists. It’s a constant ebb and flow, and I think there is a real difference between complaining, and being truthful about where you are at and seeking friendship, guidance, and even solace.”

I think this is extremely important for artistic types.  If we get filled up with all of the negative events and circumstances that happen without letting our frustrations and angers out, then we’ll either explode from the weight of it all, or find ourselves without a glimmer of hope.

Now, I definitely think that there is a difference between infecting other people with your venting, and confiding in a trusted confidant. 

I’m a big believer that what you put out into the world you get back.  I would never say that when you’re angry and the world is looking dark, to vent to anyone who will listen.  I would however make sure that you have people who “get it” and understand what you are going through.  Specifically, a person who can acknowledge your struggle and just allow you to be heard, because spewing those chunks (thanks Wayne and Garth) will allow you to regain the reigns and help you be open to new possibilities.  Afterall, Leonard Cohen wrote that “there is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” 

So, if you’ve had the kind of week it looks like a lot of us have had, I say let it out, let it go, and let the light on in.

Xoxoxo hels

tweet me at: @helslevy

browse me at: helennasantoslevy.com

email me at: contacthelenna@gmail.com

Written for my weekly Friday blog post at: 



aka) I’m the resident “artsy farsty nerd” ;) 

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This past week 2 major top life moments happened for me: the American Reunion premiere and WonderCon.  Instead of putting pen to virtual paper, I decided that I should vlog  to commemorate all of the awesome things that have happened and explain to you all just why these events are so important to me, so here goes:

(click on the vid below)

This life completely rocks and I’m so stoked that I’ve been able to share my journey with you through my vlog and now at Talk Nerdy to Me Lover.  

Since I did the vlog for various different outlets including Somebody’s Basement and originally a YouTube project called Musecast,  I’ve archived all of the episodes on a separate channel if you are interested in checking out my journey from the beginning. 

Hurray for top life moments!!!  I would love to hear about your ambitions and dreams and top life moments too.  From a nerdy girl making her way in this big ol’ world, I’m wishing you all massive success with whatever it is you are passionate about. #NerdsUnite! 

xoxo hels 

tweet me at: @helslevy

browse me at: helennasantoslevy.com

email me at: contacthelenna@gmail.com

Written for my weekly Friday blog post at: 



aka) I’m the resident “artsy farsty nerd” ;) 

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Okay, I have to say I am totally and completely burnt.  Now, this is one of those things that somehow feels like a sin to admit.  Everyone is hustling and working hard and making things happen for themselves in their lives and careers, and somehow I feel like no one ever really talks about burn out.

Admitting that I’m utterly exhausted feels completely liberating and at the same time too much of a vulnerability.  In the entertainment industry it’s all about the next thing that you have coming up. What project are you working on? What movie do you have coming out?  Everyone wants to be the next big thing and everyone is clawing their way to get there. 

This past week I was visiting my parents and my two half sisters were also in town.  One of them asked me about the whole process of auditioning for a role and then what happens when you book something.  I told her about how there are literally hundreds of thousands of actors, that 2000 people or more can be submitted for a single one line role, and that even if you book a part you can be cut at any point.  This among the fact that for the past 6 months I have had 3 part time “thrival jobs” at the same time (a term I came up with when I was doing my vlog meaning: jobs that are flexible but bring in the bill paying money so that I can focus on acting, therefore allowing me to thrive as an artist), and produce projects for the web, all while auditioning which is like a job interview everyday….well, this all made me realize, “holy crap I have the right to be burned out.”

Now the thing is, everyone I know who is an actor and producer is also in the same boat.  The amazing girls that will be on the Geek Girls Create panel at WonderCon this weekend know exactly what I’m talking about. 

So, because we obviously can’t just stop our pursuits, my question is: how do we create a life of balance so that burn out doesn’t equal completely imploding?

Personally, when I reach this burn out point I do everything I can to disconnect and take time for myself.  I hit the gym, go to yoga, sit on my roof, read a book, and just generally chillax.  But I’d love to hear what it is that you do.  What do you do to recharge? 

xoxo hels 

tweet me at: @helslevy

browse me at: helennasantoslevy.com

email me at: contacthelenna@gmail.com

Written for my weekly Friday blog post at:   



aka) I’m the resident “artsy farsty nerd” ;) 

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Lately I have been listening to a podcast called Inside Acting.  At the end of each episode hosts AJ and Trevor ask their guest (and I’m paraphrasing), whether they “chose the artistic career they’ve found themselves in, or if they think IT chose them.” 

I’ve been thinking a lot about this answer and what I would say if I was asked that quesiton. 

I’ve written before about the intensity of pursuing an artistic career as well as the fact that I feel I am a slave to the muse.  

My first reaction was that of course I feel like this career and life path chose me. After all I would never want to do anything else.  Being an artist is who I am.

But if I actually dig deeper, that isn’t entirely true.

While I know that I have a Muse that whispers in my ear constantly and is the driving force in what keeps me on the artistic path, the truth is that I absolutely know I chose this way of life.

I say this with complete confidence because I know a lot of people who also have a Muse tugging at their heart. The difference is in the fact that they have chosen a more traditional path and a “normal way of life,”  whereas I wake up every day and make the very conscious decision to push forward in a completely unstable career path. 

There is no safety, no security.  Just passion and sheer determination.

It would be so much easier to have chosen a life where I’d know what I’d be making each month, have a solid financial portfolio, and perhaps a couple of kids.  But instead, I have chosen a life of no guarantees.  A life where each and every day I am creating my destiny and fulfilling my dreams.  And this is absolutely a choice.  And I believe it is a choice that makes me pretty darn brave. 

As long as I keep waking up every morning planting my feet on the ground, and recommitting to embracing my life as an artist, I know I’m on the right path. 

What about you?  Do you have a Muse tugging at your heart?  Do you choose to listen or walk in a different direction? I’d love to hear about your journey. 

xoxo hels 

tweet me at: @helslevy

browse me at: helennasantoslevy.com

email me at: contacthelenna@gmail.com

Written for my weekly Friday blog post at:  

aka) I’m the resident “artsy farsty nerd” ;) 

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I’ve been choir geek forever.  I started singing in a group at my church when I was 5 years old.  I then joined a children’s chorus when I was 8, sang in every choir I could in high school, and then majored in “jazz voice” in college.  I am a full fledged choir geek and music nerd.

 Here’s a video for proof:

Part of my love for NBC’s “The Voice” comes from my background in music and the other part, the absolute pure joy of seeing people do what they love and chase their dreams.  I have the utmost respect for these people because as an actor, that’s what I do every day, and every day I get closer to my goals just like they do.

 I’m not going to lie, every single episode makes me cry and this is coming from a girl who really dislikes most reality television.  

But there is something about “The Voice” that’s different.  The show is about taking what is unique and amazing about someone and helping it flourish, not about forcing them to fit into some cookie cutter industry mold.  I absolutely LOVE it.  There is no finding the people that are the worst singers so that all of America can laugh at them.  No one is tearing these singers down, it’s solely about building them up.  

If you don’t watch this show, I totally suggest that you start…that you at least watch the “blind auditions” aka) first four episodes.  And no…I’m not endorsed by NBC or “The Voice,” I’m merely an uber fan who wants to share the love, happy tears, and some joyous music. 

Sing on Nerds! Sing on! 

oxox hels

tweet me at: @helslevy

browse me at: helennasantoslevy.com

email me at: contacthelenna@gmail.com 

Written for my weekly Friday blog post at:  

aka) I’m the resident “artsy farsty nerd” ;) 

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I love zombies. 

I say this with no embarrassment.  I freaking love zombies. 

Now, I have to let you all know that this is definitely not going to be the most intelligent or interesting blog post I’ve ever written, but damn it’s going to be full of enthusiasm.  Also….I’ve had a couple of dirty vodka martinis so you know the truth is going to roll out…

I have been a huge horror film fan ever since I was a child when I saw “Firestarter” with Drew Barrymore for the first time.   I was hooked. I can honestly say that I remember all of the horror films I watched like “Omen” and “Friday the 13th” way before I can tell you what kids TV shows I watched.  Yup, horror films were where my childhood brain liked to live.  Yes, this is somewhat disturbing, but I’m sure anyone who knows me will say that I’m pretty much the most happy go lucky person they’ve ever met…usually… LOL ;)

But, back to zombies…

I don’t know why I love them so much.  I mean, I’ve watched all of the documentaries about how zombies came into mainstream media and I’ve done my research on Romero and the zombie craze, but I still can’t figure out where my love for the genre came from.

(Yes, I’m a zombie riding a bike…)

I could get all deep into what it is about our culture and it’s facination with the zombie tale and folklore, but let’s face it…I’m two martinis in…instead I’m just going to show you this video…

(yup, click on the picture for zombie craziness!)

I also love apocalyptic and post apocalyptic stories. Case in point “Feed” by Mira Grant is definitely the best book I’ve read in FOREVER, and I’m salivating over the next Resident Evil movie. I also can’t wait to see my friends in season 2 of Machinima’s dope ass zombie web series “Bite Me.” 

And truth be told, yes I’m one of those actors who would love to get their Emmy or Oscar, but deep down I’d be just as happy being in a kick ass zombie flick. Well…almost. 

(zombie at the take out window)

(zombie trying to eat Jesus)

Wishing you all action packed zombie dreams…

Love your faces! #nerdsuite!

xoxo

hels - @helslevy on the ol’ twitta

aka) Helenna Santos Levy

P.S. Yes, those pictures are all of me…I’m a zombie every year for Halloween ;)

Written for my weekly Friday blog post at:  

Written for my weekly Friday blog post at: