ramblings of a raconteuse

Written for my weekly Friday blog post at: 



aka) I’m the resident “artsy farsty nerd” ;) 

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Okay, I have to say I am totally and completely burnt.  Now, this is one of those things that somehow feels like a sin to admit.  Everyone is hustling and working hard and making things happen for themselves in their lives and careers, and somehow I feel like no one ever really talks about burn out.

Admitting that I’m utterly exhausted feels completely liberating and at the same time too much of a vulnerability.  In the entertainment industry it’s all about the next thing that you have coming up. What project are you working on? What movie do you have coming out?  Everyone wants to be the next big thing and everyone is clawing their way to get there. 

This past week I was visiting my parents and my two half sisters were also in town.  One of them asked me about the whole process of auditioning for a role and then what happens when you book something.  I told her about how there are literally hundreds of thousands of actors, that 2000 people or more can be submitted for a single one line role, and that even if you book a part you can be cut at any point.  This among the fact that for the past 6 months I have had 3 part time “thrival jobs” at the same time (a term I came up with when I was doing my vlog meaning: jobs that are flexible but bring in the bill paying money so that I can focus on acting, therefore allowing me to thrive as an artist), and produce projects for the web, all while auditioning which is like a job interview everyday….well, this all made me realize, “holy crap I have the right to be burned out.”

Now the thing is, everyone I know who is an actor and producer is also in the same boat.  The amazing girls that will be on the Geek Girls Create panel at WonderCon this weekend know exactly what I’m talking about. 

So, because we obviously can’t just stop our pursuits, my question is: how do we create a life of balance so that burn out doesn’t equal completely imploding?

Personally, when I reach this burn out point I do everything I can to disconnect and take time for myself.  I hit the gym, go to yoga, sit on my roof, read a book, and just generally chillax.  But I’d love to hear what it is that you do.  What do you do to recharge? 

xoxo hels 

tweet me at: @helslevy

browse me at: helennasantoslevy.com

email me at: contacthelenna@gmail.com

Written for my weekly Friday blog post at: 



aka) I’m the resident “artsy farsty nerd” ;) 

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I am back at my parent’s place just outside of Vancouver, B.C. Canada and it has already been a very emotional trip in just one day.  I found out a bunch of sad/bad news.  

As everyone says things happen in threes.  The third and last piece of news I got was of a very dear friend who is now battling cancer. 

I then went to my granny’s house to visit. Seeing her deterioration because of Alzheimer’s is always incredibly difficult.  

Now, I’m not writing this to be a downer.  In fact, hearing, seeing, and experiencing all of the things I did today has put me in a supreme state of gratitude.  It has made me think about what is really important in my life.  And what I have realized is that I am incredibly happy right now.

A lot of the time I’m so focused on the next goal I’ve set in front of me that I don’t take enough time to really see all that I have accomplished, and today I realized that I have accomplished the most important thing of all.  I have followed my heart and made a commitment to put my soul’s happiness first.  

For me this means marrying the man of my dreams no matter what society might have to say about it, committing to being an artist, and relentlessly working towards my goals and having a hell of a lot of fun while doing it. 

It’s strange that a day filled with sad things has brought out all of the happiness I feel, but I am grateful for my life, for the amazing family and friends I have, and for the gift of each new day. 

xoxoxo

hels 

tweet me at: @helslevy

browse me at: helennasantoslevy.com

email me at: contacthelenna@gmail.com

Written for my weekly Friday blog post at:



aka) I’m the resident “artsy farsty nerd” ;)

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AHHHHHHH!!!! Help??? What is a nerdy girl to do when her computer is BUSTED???!!!

I’ve been in hell the past two days and unable to connect to the internet.

I’m using a random P.C. that we have in our place, but I’m a Mac girl and P.C.s are completely foreign to me. I feel like I’m in a land of aliens playing with children’s toys…no offence if you are a P.C. user, but I am so confused….

What do you mean I actually have to right click and my shortcuts to cut and paste aren’t vaild….what?????

(In fact, I’m trying to instert a picture here and I can’t get it to work….grrrr…)

It’s actually kind of shocking to me how much I’ve realized I live in a purely Mac world. Between my iphone and my computer I don’t really know anything else. This P.C. keyboard is clunky underneath my fingers and I keep making different windows pop out of nowhere.

Yes, I am having a major #firstworldproblems moment, but I can’t help it. And I have to apologize, this is the shortest blog post ever, but I am currently seriously brainstorming how I could start a Kickstarter campagin to help me buy a new computer. I’d have to do something really crazy for the people who donated if I got all of my funding.

Any ideas fellow nerds? How can this nerdy girl get back on a Mac and onto the interwebs?

xoxox hels

http://www.helennasantoslevy.com

Written for my weekly Friday blog post at:   



aka) I’m the resident “artsy farsty nerd” ;) 

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Lately I have been listening to a podcast called Inside Acting.  At the end of each episode hosts AJ and Trevor ask their guest (and I’m paraphrasing), whether they “chose the artistic career they’ve found themselves in, or if they think IT chose them.” 

I’ve been thinking a lot about this answer and what I would say if I was asked that quesiton. 

I’ve written before about the intensity of pursuing an artistic career as well as the fact that I feel I am a slave to the muse.  

My first reaction was that of course I feel like this career and life path chose me. After all I would never want to do anything else.  Being an artist is who I am.

But if I actually dig deeper, that isn’t entirely true.

While I know that I have a Muse that whispers in my ear constantly and is the driving force in what keeps me on the artistic path, the truth is that I absolutely know I chose this way of life.

I say this with complete confidence because I know a lot of people who also have a Muse tugging at their heart. The difference is in the fact that they have chosen a more traditional path and a “normal way of life,”  whereas I wake up every day and make the very conscious decision to push forward in a completely unstable career path. 

There is no safety, no security.  Just passion and sheer determination.

It would be so much easier to have chosen a life where I’d know what I’d be making each month, have a solid financial portfolio, and perhaps a couple of kids.  But instead, I have chosen a life of no guarantees.  A life where each and every day I am creating my destiny and fulfilling my dreams.  And this is absolutely a choice.  And I believe it is a choice that makes me pretty darn brave. 

As long as I keep waking up every morning planting my feet on the ground, and recommitting to embracing my life as an artist, I know I’m on the right path. 

What about you?  Do you have a Muse tugging at your heart?  Do you choose to listen or walk in a different direction? I’d love to hear about your journey. 

xoxo hels 

tweet me at: @helslevy

browse me at: helennasantoslevy.com

email me at: contacthelenna@gmail.com

Written for my weekly Friday blog post at:  



aka) I’m the resident “artsy farsty nerd” ;)

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Warning:  You are about to embark on something really sappy,  but since Valentine’s Day was this week, I thought it’d be appropriate for me to talk about LOVE.  



More specifically,  I’m going to tell you about finding the amazing person I decided to spend the rest of my life with, and why I believe that “true love” actually does come when you aren’t looking.  Like, at all.  I know that it’s a cliche, but it was true for me and who knows, it might end up being true for you too. 

I have a number of single girlfriends and one of them asked me the other day how I met my husband and if I had any advice on how to find “the one.”  

I told her that I really had no advice on how to look for that “special someone” because I was doing everything but looking when I met Barry.  In fact,  I was just coming off of a relationship with a drummer…one of many that I dated over the years (yes, I was a real “band-aid”  like Penny Lane from “Almost Famous”),  and it was a tumultuous relationship that I was really messed up over.  Finding someone else was the last thing on my mind. 

How did my husband and I meet? I was his waitress.  

Fast forward a month or so and we went on our first date, and having had the tortured drummer off of my mind, I was actually able to focus on this incredible person I had met. 

I’ve never really talked about this before, but by many of society’s standards we shouldn’t work as a couple.  Or at least, that’s what one might think.  He’s 18 years older then me after all.  But from our very first date it worked and we just clicked.  I knew he was older then me, I just didn’t know by how much, and I honestly didn’t care.  All I knew was that I had found someone incredibly interesting who I could talk to about politics, religion, filmmaking, and art.  We had all of our passions in common and it felt amazing.


At one point I stupidly broke up with him for a night convinced that it wouldn’t work because our age difference was too great.  Ironically, I went and saw “Love Actually” that night and quickly realized I was a freaking moron.  If society at large had issues with our relationship, that was everyone else’s problem and not mine.  And to be fair, no one had actually given me a hard time about dating an “older man,”  it was all in my head. 

I asked a girlfriend of mine who was married to a guy 16 years older than her if she had any advice about adverting the potentially prying eyes of the judgmental masses. 
She told me, “as soon as you are totally ok with it, no one will even notice.”  And she was right. 

The moment I gave a big middle finger to the world about fitting into the box of what society tells us is normal, I felt empowered and incredibly lucky to have found the person who was my absolute best fit in this world.  And because this moment begs for a cheesy saying…he does in fact, complete me.

What’s hilarious is that because I’m half asian I still look like I’m in my early 20s.

Barry and I have a joke we used to crack up over when we lived in our old apartment.  Every time this one couple got in the elevator and saw us holding hands they would go silent and stare at us.  Once they left we’d laugh and impersonate them saying “Oh, there goes that nice man with his adopted asian daughter again.”  We love it when things like that happen because we’re planning to write a romantic comedy one day about the hilarity that often ensues.

Almost 9 years together now and nearly 6 years married,  every single day is more and more fun. We are a perfect match, and if I had judged it from the beginning and not had an open heart, I might have missed the best thing that has ever happened to me.

So, I guess I’m sharing this with you all just to say that you never ever know when you’ll meet the perfect person for you.  But if you keep an open mind and look past any preconceived ideas about what you *think* true love will be like, then you might just find it.  

Happy Valentine’s ;)
xoxox hels

tweet me at: @helslevy

browse me at: helennasantoslevy.com

email me at: contacthelenna@gmail.com

Written for my weekly Friday blog post at:  

aka) I’m the resident “artsy farsty nerd” ;) 

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I’ve been choir geek forever.  I started singing in a group at my church when I was 5 years old.  I then joined a children’s chorus when I was 8, sang in every choir I could in high school, and then majored in “jazz voice” in college.  I am a full fledged choir geek and music nerd.

 Here’s a video for proof:

Part of my love for NBC’s “The Voice” comes from my background in music and the other part, the absolute pure joy of seeing people do what they love and chase their dreams.  I have the utmost respect for these people because as an actor, that’s what I do every day, and every day I get closer to my goals just like they do.

 I’m not going to lie, every single episode makes me cry and this is coming from a girl who really dislikes most reality television.  

But there is something about “The Voice” that’s different.  The show is about taking what is unique and amazing about someone and helping it flourish, not about forcing them to fit into some cookie cutter industry mold.  I absolutely LOVE it.  There is no finding the people that are the worst singers so that all of America can laugh at them.  No one is tearing these singers down, it’s solely about building them up.  

If you don’t watch this show, I totally suggest that you start…that you at least watch the “blind auditions” aka) first four episodes.  And no…I’m not endorsed by NBC or “The Voice,” I’m merely an uber fan who wants to share the love, happy tears, and some joyous music. 

Sing on Nerds! Sing on! 

oxox hels

tweet me at: @helslevy

browse me at: helennasantoslevy.com

email me at: contacthelenna@gmail.com 

Written for my weekly Friday blog post at:  

aka) I’m the resident “artsy farsty nerd” ;) 

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I love zombies. 

I say this with no embarrassment.  I freaking love zombies. 

Now, I have to let you all know that this is definitely not going to be the most intelligent or interesting blog post I’ve ever written, but damn it’s going to be full of enthusiasm.  Also….I’ve had a couple of dirty vodka martinis so you know the truth is going to roll out…

I have been a huge horror film fan ever since I was a child when I saw “Firestarter” with Drew Barrymore for the first time.   I was hooked. I can honestly say that I remember all of the horror films I watched like “Omen” and “Friday the 13th” way before I can tell you what kids TV shows I watched.  Yup, horror films were where my childhood brain liked to live.  Yes, this is somewhat disturbing, but I’m sure anyone who knows me will say that I’m pretty much the most happy go lucky person they’ve ever met…usually… LOL ;)

But, back to zombies…

I don’t know why I love them so much.  I mean, I’ve watched all of the documentaries about how zombies came into mainstream media and I’ve done my research on Romero and the zombie craze, but I still can’t figure out where my love for the genre came from.

(Yes, I’m a zombie riding a bike…)

I could get all deep into what it is about our culture and it’s facination with the zombie tale and folklore, but let’s face it…I’m two martinis in…instead I’m just going to show you this video…

(yup, click on the picture for zombie craziness!)

I also love apocalyptic and post apocalyptic stories. Case in point “Feed” by Mira Grant is definitely the best book I’ve read in FOREVER, and I’m salivating over the next Resident Evil movie. I also can’t wait to see my friends in season 2 of Machinima’s dope ass zombie web series “Bite Me.” 

And truth be told, yes I’m one of those actors who would love to get their Emmy or Oscar, but deep down I’d be just as happy being in a kick ass zombie flick. Well…almost. 

(zombie at the take out window)

(zombie trying to eat Jesus)

Wishing you all action packed zombie dreams…

Love your faces! #nerdsuite!

xoxo

hels - @helslevy on the ol’ twitta

aka) Helenna Santos Levy

P.S. Yes, those pictures are all of me…I’m a zombie every year for Halloween ;)

Written for my weekly Friday blog post at:  

See I may not have a crazy amount of trivia in my brain about comics and characters, but I definitely have my fair share of geek out knowledge when it comes to anything Joss Whedon and also… zombies.  There are other things I geek out about too, but those are the 2 major fields of my geekdom.  And can I just say…. Cabin In The Woods?  Hellz YES!!!

#geekgirlscreate and #nerdsunite OH YEAH!!!

Written for my weekly Friday blog post at: